Let’s take a break from all the numbers you are hearing everyday, which are likely to change tomorrow for no reason. Not really. Last month, when being asked what was happening and where Vietnam was in this kinda crisis, I was confident. We were in such a good position that, though we would never become either superpower, they were more and more in need of us being us.

I was confident. The current situation has been so irrational and a common sense of win-win approach fails. I stopped to think, to question, what is happening? Again, beside all the news that purposely redirects our thoughts, beside all the announcements that arrive even more regularly than a husband promises to his wife, how could I describe the situation?

Have you ever lived in a household where the parents were always fighting? Where even when peace prevailed, the tension never left the room? I was, and, as a parent now, my own family is in that situation from time to time. The tension has been all around. No matter who was right, I was always scared of being called by either. Most of the time I had no faults, but felt guilty for what I did not do. I just wanted peace. I just wanted to keep the family together.

That’s how I am thinking of the triangle Americans – Chinese – Vietnamese right now. As said, at the beginning, I was convinced that we Vietnamese had finally found a great position in the war, where both allies would let us their gateway to the other. In any war, even the trade war, alliances always need some safe and trusted partners who can help them split the different with the “enemies”. However, Mr. Trump – the American – the father in this toxic big family, doesn’t seem to let the kid – us – or kids – including some other countries – to stay neutral and somehow benefit from parents’ fight. He simply pushes us to be his side, and corners the mother – Chinese Xi. It seems to me that, after years of going out playing with fire in Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran…, Dad went home and figured out Mom had already grown up independently, occupied everything she could and even had some relationships with bad guys out there. What would he do? Shouting, punishing, cornering and threatening kids to take side? Sounds familiar?

Vietnam, as in that fantasy, is the oldest kid probably. At the beginning, we thought the storm might pass very soon. We could stay in between, transfer words and might be benefited somehow because each needed us. We were right, until Dad thought he should be respected more, while Mom simply did not care and was already capable of fighting equally against Dad. They both started to attract and force us to follow them exclusively. We cannot. We need both to grow, and to balance our own life.

Current situation shows that, it is irreversible. Mom and Dad are getting divorced. Who will the Oldest Kid follow? It 100% depend on the age and maturity of the Kid. If we are like below-6 years old, we simply belong to the Mom.

Other cases, let’s see.